Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Precepts for Warriors: Part IV, On Sexual Misconduct

"I will abstain from sexual misconduct and prevent abuse to others"

On the surface, once again, this Mindfulness Training seems obvious.  Specifically it is generally accepted that the training against sexual misconduct can be broken down into the following admonishments:

1.  No sex with children
2.  No sex with someone who is married (not to you)
3.  No sex with someone who is not your spouse (if you are married)
4.  No sex with someone who is unwilling

Essentially, we are not to cause harm through our sexual conduct.  These trainings do not advise against sex in general, but ask us to avoid conduct which can damage another person. 

I don't think it is necessary to explain how exploiting children sexually, or raping anyone for that matter is cruel and unjustifiable.  If this cannot be understood at face value, then just obey the law, period.

When we make a commitment to another person, a marriage for example, we commit more than just our sexual fidelity.  We commit our loyalty, honesty and integrity.  We commit our lives to this person so as a unit we are stronger and happier.  We do this so we can raise children in a happy and healthy home. Mindfulness during intimacy with our spouse generates greater trust, respect and love and is a great practice for us householders.

To violate the trust of our spouse is to create karmic consequences that will ripple through our lives, and the lives of our families.  We feel we have to hide the affair creating anxiety that we will be discovered.  This creates tension that intrudes on our presence in the home, and darkens our relationships with the ones we love.  If discovered, our betrayal is like a blow to our spouse and child. 



  1. Hi Scott,

    wow, great blog! I find this through Brad W's blog.

    Right now I don't have so much to comment but just wanted to say hi and to show some respect. I think you're doing very important work and I'm always very happy to find out if a military/law enforcement etc. person is practicing Buddhism. Clear mind is really important and especially for you people protecting our asses! So thank you for your practice.

    All the best,

  2. Thank you Uku :) There isn't much out there on this specific topic, so I hope anything I do here is helpful.

    With Metta



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